My First Documentary Video..

Praardinche Pedhaalakanna Sahayam Chese Chetulu Minna..

Hilarious History Retold.. :)

The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived
in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao.
These cities had the best
drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.

Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to
father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology,
which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in
olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India.  One was called the
Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves
in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera
Bharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty, so named because
they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their
capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the
Mowglis.

The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the
battlefield of Panipat which is in  Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace
loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines.
Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented
at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps
there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because
they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP,  Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was
sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,
after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not
like it. They also do not like New Delhi, so they are calling it  Door
Darshan.

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was
circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper Then came the British. They
brought with them many inventions such as  cricket, tramtarts and steamed
railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French
fries,pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened
Duplex who was out membered  since the British had the queen on their side.

Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much
diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period.  They
were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India
and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to
produce his own salt. This was called the swedish moment. During this
moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to
wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the
production of Indian testiles.

In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the
father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named
because the British were quietly lootaoing our country. In 1947, India
became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our
population.
Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are
allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our
constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be
hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if
you have not paid your taxis.

Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed.
This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written
on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower
and higher.  This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided
against itself cannot withstand.

So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British
were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in
Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.

Recently in India, there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. It
can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat. Scams are all
over India. One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given
anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which
is a small town in Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to
buy a gun which can shoot a coot

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left,
right and centre. It has started to library the economy This means that
there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself.
India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are
being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at
Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty,
pollution and population.

E-mail For Evry Male n Female...

I wanted to thank all my beloved ones, friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008,2009,2010 and continuing it in 2011 also.......

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc….

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.

* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)

NOW IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.

Nothing has happened till now..................... but who knows. So please forward.

2011 Love Letter... From a Boy To A Gal..

 BOY:

Most worthy of your estimation

after a long consideration

and much mediation.

I have a strong indication

to become your relation.

As to my educational qualification,

it is no exaggeration or fabrication

that I have passed my matriculation examination;

no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation.

What do you say to the solemnisation

of our marriage celebration

according to the glorification of modern civilisation

and with a view to the expansion

of the population of present generation.

On your approbation of the application,

I shall make preparation to improve my situation,

and if such obligation is worthy of consideration

it will be our argumentation of the joy and

exaltation of our joint dissimilation.

Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion,

To remain victim of your fascination.

SHE WROTE :

Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,

Congratulation for your lengthy narration

of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation

for a combination which on examination

I find is a fine presentation of your ambition.

You have passed your matriculation with little preparation,

what about my graduation after a long botheration,

so improve situation in education

and make an application by acquisition

of post graduation and minimum qualification

for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation

undergo beautification.

Further strict observation of the following conditions is the

regulation for the determination of our relation.

1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection.

2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim

of any fascination and,

3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of

paper conversation.

I Remain,

Unaffected by your affection.

Idena mana jeevetham.. Poem

Idena mana jeevetham..

Nidhura levagaane, manavaari moham badhulu mobile phone choosukuntunnam
Padukune mundhu devudini badhulu repu cheyalsina panulu gurthuchesukuntunnam
Idena mana jeevetham..

Aakasam vaipu chooddaniki - suryunni palakarinchataniki time ledhu
matti vaasana peelchataniki – arikalla meedha nadavataaniki opika ledhu
pournami ki amavaasya ki theda ledhu,
chandrunessi choosthu, dhaani meedha unna aa marakenta ani aalochinche chance ledhu.
Idena mana jeevetham..

Intlo baasipetlesukuni chetho bhojanam kalupukuni thini yenni rojulaindhi.
Marketkelli kooralu beramadi thechukuni, puchulunnayani thittukuni yenni rojulaindhi
alisipoyi intikellina tharvaatha amma tho kaaka ammai tho phone lo madladuthunnam
pakkintlo ye ammai undho theleedhu, yedhurintlo ye aunty undho thelidhu.
Idena mana jeevetham..

Chaavukelthe pedha karma varaku unde chance ledhu,
pellikelthe group photo time ni minchi unde scope ledhu.
Varsham lo thadavaalante cell phone thadisipothundhani bhayyam
Yenda lo aadithe rangu thaggipothamani ani bhayyam
Chalilo thirigithe jalubu chesthundhani bhayyam
Idena mana jeevetham..

Nijam matladithe kayyamemonani bhayyam
Abadhaalu cheppi cheppi ave manam kuda nammesthunnamani bhayyam
Cinemallo heroine laga araganta snanam cheyalekapothunnam
Cinemallo hero laga pakka vari kastalu panchulekapothunnam
Idena mana jeevetham..

Anthedhuku, idhi chadhivi mana lifestyle marchukune avakasam kuda ledhu. Mari inka
intey na mana jeevetham!!

Mind It... :)

Facts about Rajanikant

Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.

Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

 

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

rajni

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.